Learning to Stop Clutching

I mentioned in an earlier post that horses have a kind of telepathy -- actually, it is their ability to read verbal and physical cues.   As was pointed out by a comment in an earlier post, our horses often times know our mental state before we do!  One my my biggest issues, though I am much improved, is learning not to clutch  with my knees as we go into the trot.  It seems counterintuitive, but the harder you try to stay on a horse by gripping with your knees and legs, the more unbalanced you become.  And at the trot, that can mean a lot of bouncing!  The key is to remain relaxed and balanced to move with the horse; however a human's natural instinct for self-preservation makes one want to grip.  Not only does this make you more unbalanced in the saddle, but the horse reads this as tension and a cue to go faster -- which of course just makes you bounce more in saddle.  It takes a lot of work to learn to balance and to relax and to not grip.  Learning the fine art of balance and relaxation  results in a more pleasant ride for horse and rider alike.

So, it is with Leadership.  It is hard to be an effective leader if you are "unbalanced" -- whether that be mentally (e.g. high emotion) or physically (e.g. physical infirmity or weakness).  Working to attain and maintain a "balanced" state, both mentally and physically allows a leader to be able to function in a manner that allows the leader to remain focused and objective.  And "balance" takes lots of practice!  What things do you do to help you remain in "balance"?  Do you exercise?  Do you have a hobby that you love?  Do you meditate?  Do you eat well?  What works for you?

My "Equine Coach"

I have been referring to my equine partner through the last few posts just as "my horse" and it is time you get to know my "equine coach" a little better. as she is my partner and teacher through this journey. 

I am proud to introduce, River Angel, or River for short - a 13 year old Arabian/Quarter Horse.  A little more than pony size, she proves that good things can come in small packages.   I don't know River's total life history, and I wish she could talk and tell me about her early life.  She is quiet and relatively easy going, but can be fiery and stubborn when the mood strikes.  She is a pro -- it doesn't rattle her to be loaded into a horse trailer or to go to a horse show or to walk over a mattress. The only thing that I have found that she doesn't like are those nasty "horse-eating" palm fronds that might cross her path on a windy day in Florida.  In other words, she is an excellent teacher and mentor -- though I hope that I have managed to teach her a few things as well.  So in subsequent posts, you will no longer hear the term "my horse", but her name, River, and the things she is teaching me as we journey down the path together.

 

The author and River at a Horse Show.



Telepathy

One thing I found out early on after returning to my love of horses was the link between my emotions and the behavior of my horse.  Horses are keenly aware of your emotions -- almost like telepathy.  As an "older" rider, I am more fearful of falling off and getting hurt than I was in my tween and teens.  I don't bounce like I used too! And if a horse sees that his human leader is fearful, the horse figures there must be something to be fearful about and starts to become fearful as well.  Which starts an upward spiraling cycle, unless the human can get a hold of their emotions.  It takes time and effort for a person to develop the confidence to learn to constructively manage their anxiety and fear, but once done, it pays phenomenal dividends in the relationship with your horse.

This exercise in learning to deal with my fear and anxiety with respect to riding horses has paid dividends in my work and personal lives as well.  By learning how to constructively manage my fears (whether it be fear of confrontation or fear of the unknown), I can more constructively deal with difficult situations.

Not to say that I am totally there yet.  I am constantly being challenged by new experiences with my horse that cause my fear and anxiety to rear their ugly heads.  Case in point just happened yesterday.  My instructor had a clinic on ground training, focusing on how to properly lunge your horse.  My horse is not particularly thrilled with being lunged, and that was exacerbated by the fact I hadn't had an opportunity to exercise her in a while.  After my instructor demonstrated the proper lunging technique, I stepped in to lunge my horse.  My horse refused to lunge!  Every time I tried to get in the proper position to get her started, she pivoted to face me.  She pinned her ears and showed her extreme displeasure.  We kept up this dance for a short while.  My horse was not happy and I was alternating between being frustrated as nervous as I was trying to stay in the proper position by her shoulder if she decided to kick out.  So the more frustrated and nervous I got, the more she acted up.  She was testing me and I was failing as the "alpha" or leader.  Of course my instructor stepped in and showed me what I needed to do, but it is going to take me a lot of practice with my horse to develop the technique and the confidence to meet this next challenge -- just like one needs to practice and develop the confidence with each new challenge in your life.

The author lunging her horse.

Horse Herd Dynamics

There are a lots of books and online resources dealing with herds of horses and the social dynamics of the herd.  I am summarizing here to give context, which I will be using to relate to human leadership dynamics in later posts.

Domestic herds of horses reflect many of the social charactistics of a wild or feral horse herds.  Horses are by nature very social creatures.  As a prey animal, the security of a horse lies with being a member of a herd.  And within the herd, there is a very defined social hierarchy that is adhered to -- it is survival for each horse to understand their place in the social hierarchy of the herd.

In the wild, the herd consists of a stallion and a harem of mares and younger horses.  The stallion is the protector of the herd.  An older mare is actually the leader as her experience ensures the herd has access to food and water.  Once a young male horse becomes mature, he is driven out of the herd.  Often times, there is a herd of younger male horses who have been driven out of their birth herd.  At some point, an older stallion is challenged by a younger stallion for his harem.  And the cycle continues.

Hierarachy in the herd is demonstrated by physical cues, which range from how the horse positions itself to chasing, kicking, and biting. Once the hierarchy is established, unless there is some change (new horse arrives, old horse gets sick), it is pretty static.

This can also apply to a domestic herd, though the complement of the herd in a domestic setting can be somewhat artificial.  At the barn where I board my horse, we have several small "herds".  In one, the mix is similar to that noted above, and there is a very dominant alpha mare and a dominant gelding (no stallions at our facility).

Even with a human, a horse is looking at how it figures in the pecking order with the human.  Is the horse the leader or is the human the leader?  In order to be an effective rider and to establish the proper relationship with a horse, the human needs to establish him or herself as the leader.  However, how the human does this is critical -- it can't be done by force, but by establishing a relationship built upon trust with the horse.  And this process of establishing that leadership dynamic with the horse finds striking parellels in how humans develop and display leadership within human society.

Managers and Leaders

I have been a supervisor/manager for over 20 years.  As an engineer, transitioning from employee to supervisor was probably the hardest change for me in my almost 30 year career.  Supervision/Management requires emphasis on a completely different skill set than engineering --particularly the soft skills .  Learning to step away from the minutia and look at the big picture, as well as letting go of the concept of "control" (since your employees are developing the products and your are facilitating getting the resources to get the job done) makes for a total change in how one approaches the job. Not to mention that it is hard backing away from the fun "tech stuff".   It took me the better part of a year to come to terms with my new role -- and that was only the management part!

Leadership and Management are two separate, but related, animals. One can be manager but not a leader and vice versa.  A person can be a leader by virtue of their ability to lead others regardless of their position in an organization's hierarchy.  However, there is an expectation that once put in a position of supervision/management, that leadership skills are part of the total package. There is a need for both managers and leaders.  Each has an important role to play in an organization.  And if you have aptitude for both, then you have a powerful combination!

Returning to my childhood love of all things horse, with the added perspective of my life as a supervisor/manager, it has really brought home how many things translate from the equine world to the business world.  I'm not the first person to realize this -- there are books and clinics on the subject -- but this is an opportunity for me to show how horsemanship is shaping my leadership view and vice versa.

Returning to where I started....horses.

Several years ago, a friend suggested that we both take horseback riding lessons.  We had ridden as children and in our younger adult days.  Her daughter was taking lessons and we decided to tag along.  Even though it had been 20+ years since I had been on a horse, I still remembered how to post the trot! I guess it is like learning how to ride a bike....you never forget.  Unfortunately, being that many years older, I walked kind of funny for the next week -- but I had caught the riding bug again.  Soon, I was so hooked that I actually leased a horse, and later ended up buying the horse. 

Fast forward about two years later, and my horse and the barn she boards at, are a big part of my life.  I spend my free time reading up about horses, horsekeeping, and horse behavior; or, I am at the barn tending to my horse or riding my horse.

So, how does this relate to Leadership?  Well, that's the next part of the story!