Saturday, May 24, 2014

To Thine Own Self Be True....

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss  
 
The essence of Dr. Seuss' quote is really profound, particularly the "Be who you are...".   Being true to ourselves and our values can sometimes be really hard to do in our world today.   For my equine partner, River, what you see is what you get.  If she's happy or sad, angry or in pain, it is very evident.  Her relationships with other horses and with the humans she associates with are based on open communication.  There is no hiding what is important to her or how she feels.  Indeed, to survive and thrive as a horse, a horse has to be true to themselves.  By doing that, it defines the horse's hierarchy in the herd and the overall hardiness of the herd.
 
We humans, though, well -- it's more complicated.  Societal expectations, peer expectations, family expectations often force us for expedience to deviate from being who we are.  And that ultimately takes its toll.  There is stress in trying to be or live to what we are not or with values that are not in alignment with our own.
 
The move to be more authentic to ourselves and who we are carries it share of risk, such as the risk of  moving away from activities or friendships.  Ultimately, though, being true to yourself allows you to reap the benefits of living in alignment with your values, allowing you to develop relationships with those who  support you for being you and engage in activities that support and nurture your values.
 
It's not easy and it can't happen overnight -- but it can be done.
 
Here's to you being you! 

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Do the Right Thing...

"Have the courage to say no.  Have the courage to face the truth.  Do the right thing because is is right.  These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity."  ~ W.C. Clement Stone

After some emotional upheavals this week, I have had a chance to ponder about the ramifications of actions -- particularly that action known as "doing the right thing".   While there are some universal standards about what "the right thing" is, sometimes "the right thing" can be subjective..  What is the "right thing" to one person, may not be to another in circumstances where there is not necessarily a straightforward answer.  

I have done what I thought was "the right thing" and been burned and hurt at the time, and much later (a year or more) come to find out that "the right thing" was truly the right thing.  Sometimes the ramifications of our actions are not apparent at the time, but only much later.

Every day gives us opportunities to do "the right thing".  And the right thing is not always easy.  It can be emotionally painful or physically uncomfortable.  It may test relationships.  However, in order to live with integrity, we must always try to do what we think is right.  We are all human.  Our actions may not be the solution to the problem, but it is an honest opportunity to make our little area of the world a better place, while living in harmony with our values.

So, be courageous. Do the right thing.


Saturday, May 3, 2014

What The World Needs.....

The last week of April, my family (including two dogs -- but not River!) traveled via car to Kentucky to visit my family.  Long car rides, especially when you are not the driver, offer great opportunities for observation and introspection.  In addition to enjoying the varying terrain on the 14+ hour one-way drive, there was an opportunity to observe and interact with a lot of people along the way.

One of the things I noticed throughout the trip, both from personal interaction and from observation -- with driving habits being a leading indicator -- is the absence of courtesy and kindness on the part of a large number of folks.  People are in a hurry, distracted, stressed, and focused on getting "there" (wherever "there" happens to be). I observed drivers in a hurry to the point of driving recklessly; interactions between customers and shop employees that didn't involve eye contact or even a word; and folks that rushed past not mindful of any person or object in their path.

Seeing all this, I made the extra effort to be courteous, especially to those working in stores.  The people I talked to seemed to really appreciate the chance to actually talk and not just be looked at as an impediment to checking the next box off of someone's endless "to do" list.  And these opportunities gave me equal appreciation to connect with another person.

Of course this lack of courtesy, while prevalent, did not reflect all my experiences.  I had the most pleasant time as a woman brought her six month old over to our car at a rest stop to look in the window at our two dogs.  Her grandson had never seen a dog. I brought one of our dogs out the car to meet the woman and her grandson.  We had a chance to share child rearing stories with each other and this little boy had his first chance to meet a dog.  I left the rest stop feeling so good.

What a small effort it takes to acknowledge a person -- to smile, to say "hi", to say "thank you".  And those small actions not make other people feel better, it makes us feel better.  It also makes this world a kinder, better place to live in.

This week, take a small step to making this world a kinder place -- be kind and considerate to others.