Word of the Day - RESPECT

This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Difference is of the essence of humanity. Difference is an accident of birth and it should therefore never be the source of hatred or conflict. The answer to difference is to respect it. Therein lies a most fundamental principle of peace: respect for diversity.
-- John Hume

The American ideal is not that we all agree with each other, or even like each other, every minute of the day. It is rather that we will respect each other's rights, especially the right to be different, and that, at the end of the day, we will understand that we are one people, one country, and one community, and that our well-being is inextricably bound up with the well-being of each and every one of our fellow citizens.
-- C. Everett Koop

So what is the common theme in all the quotes above?  The concept of "respect".

Respect is key to any human-animal interaction.  For example, if a horse does not respect me, then the horse will do whatever it wants.  Which isn't a situation you want with a multi-hundred or thousand pound animal.

It is the same in our human-to-human interactions.  Respect is key.  We as humans tend to categorize.  Bad policeman?  All policemen are bad.  Terrorist activity done in the name of a religion?  All people of that religion must be terrorists.  There are bad people -- but that doesn't make everyone bad.

Horse don't categorize.  Each horse is evaluated on its own merits and establishes itself in the herd hierarchy as an individual.  Those differences make the herd stronger.

There is a lot to learn from a horse here.  Evaluate each individual as an individual.  Don't categorize.  Learn about one another.  Respect the differences.  Respect one another.  It is in respecting each other's differences that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.  It enables positive change. We can't blame our leaders when we can't extend basic respect to one another.  It starts with us.  Respect yourself and extend that respect to others and see what wonderful things happen.

 

"Treat people the way you want to be treated.  Talk to people the way they want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given."  ~ Unknown

If you read the newspapers, watch the TV news, or are tied into electronic media, the concept of respect almost appears to be a thing of the past.   Common courtesy, patience, civility, and a genuine sense of caring have been supplanted by the need to check all the items of our to do list or to prove that we alone are right about a particular subject.  Those same items that have been supplanted in our society are the same ones that are key to earning the respect of others.

The same quote by "Unknown" above (who was a very wise man or woman, I might add), applies to our relationship with horses.  One doesn't walk up to a large animal like a horse and demand respect.  Developing a respectful relationship with horses involves time and patience.  It requires give and take, consistency, firmness, and kindness.  It requires listening as well as talking -- and believe me, the horse is talking to you though sometimes not through verbal cues!  And that time and effort results in a bond that is truly amazing to behold -- when an animal many times your size places their trust in you. 

If we can establish respect with an animal as noble as the horse, surely we can apply those some precepts -- time, patience, kindness, listening -- to all those humans (face-to-face, on the phone, on the internet) that we encounter in our daily lives.  Our animal friends can often be the best teacher in how to be human.

Wishing you much kindness,

Maynette and River

 

Teachable Moment

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”  ~ James Baldwin 

 

Life provides a multitude of teachable moments, both for ourselves and for those children we parent and/or mentor.  And of these moments, there are many that deal with handling different types of adversity.  Some of the toughest of these are trying to provide perspective to our children about those situations where adults who are supposed to be role models are acting -- well, like children.

 

Such a moment occurred this week when adults, who were organizing a horse show that attracts many children and teenagers,  decided to not allow certain children to attend because of a perceived disagreement with other adults.  The children, understandably disappointed, received a first hand example of how some adults can regress into childish pettiness.  This sad situation, however, turned into a  teachable moment, showing the children that regardless of how others act, those actions cannot take away from oneself and that one can rise above the actions of others. These momentary disappointments pave the way to far greater opportunities.

 

Out of this sad episode, came a shining opportunity to teach the next generation an early lesson in resilience and the grace that comes out of adversity. These wonderful kids, lesson learned, are happily preparing for their next show, where they will truly shine.

 

 

Selflessness

“Non nobis solum nati sumus.
(We are not born for ourselves alone.)”

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero On Duties 

 

One of the biggest things that owning an animal does for a us is to teach us selflessness.  Animals require constant care: feeding, bathing, grooming, exercising.  They get sick and need to be nursed back to health.  Animals require the gift of our time and our ability to observe and respond to their unspoken needs to ensure that they thrive and have a quality life.  In return for caring for our animals, we receive their loyal companionship and their unconditional love.  Horses are no exception and require a considerable investment of time.  For such a beautiful and majestic creature, they are surprisingly fragile.  For me, though, caring for River is a labor of love.

 

Growing up with animals as part of the family teaches children about selflessness.  Feeding and caring for a creature that relies solely on a human for its basic necessities is a powerful lesson in responsibility and of the gift of self that translates to how a child learns to relate to others in our human society.  And one is never too old to experience the powerful life lessons of caring for an animal.

As part of the larger world, as Cicero said so many centuries ago, we are not born to be an island unto ourselves.  We are meant to be active, engaged, and selfless members of a larger society. As we give to others (animals, strangers, co-workers, friends, family members), we also indirectly give right back to ourselves.  In fact, helping others has shown direct benefits to the giver's health!

So, today practice a little selflessness.  In helping others you will be helping yourself and making the world a better place -- one selfless act at a time.

 

Reflections on the Year Gone By....

"Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection." ~ Winston Churchill

 

As we are in the Christmas Season and the end of year and with the new year just around the corner, it is a time of joyful anticipation.  It is also a time, as Winston Churchill noted, of reflection -- reflection over the year that has gone by and reflection on the year that is fast approaching.

 

As I look back over the past year, it has been a maelstrom of events -- some of great sadness and loss but others of great joy.  I have witnessed humanity at its most base and selfish, balanced by the true grace of humanity at its most generous and giving.  I have learned much and grown much.

 

River, too, has had her ups and downs.  Another bout of laminitis and a diagnosis of Cushing's Disease were setbacks, but with the care of a tremendous community of horse professionals, River is thriving and once again we are now riding together.  River continues to teach me in so many ways.  She continually helps me expand my capacity for patience, as she continues to expand my learning on horses and horse care.  Through her, I have met and developed friendships with a wonderful community of people that have reignited my passion and opened my horizons to new things.

 

As we end 2014, I think of how far we've come and how exciting the journey in 2015 will be.

 

Wishing each of you, a very happy and health journey in 2015!

 

Maynette and River

 

 

The Season's Magic....

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." ~Norman Vincent Peale

Last night was the Christmas Party at the barn where I board River.  Even though it is Florida, the air was crisp and chilly, making the horses very energetic.  Christmas lights were hung everywhere.  There was good food, good friends, and the sounds of Christmas music.  I brought River up from the pasture to her stall.  She enjoyed everyone coming by and making over her.  As I walked back up to the barn in the dark after putting River back out in her pasture, I paused.  Standing on the path, I had a great view of all the Christmas lights.  I could hear the laughter,  the music, and the nearby sounds of the horses.  Looking up, it was a clear night with all the stars visible.  It was truly magical. Standing there, the beauty of the world truly filled me with awe and gratitude.  While the moment passed, the feeling has lingered.  I am going to strive to hold on to that feeling now and into the new year.

To you and yours, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Holidays from River and me.  Wishing you magical moments!

Simple Gifts

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free

                   'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

                  'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,

                    To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,

To turn, turn will be our delight,        

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right

~ "Simple Gifts" by Joseph Brackett

I have always loved the song, "Simple Gifts", an old Shaker hymn.  It is profound in its very simplicity. 

It seems especially appropriate as we enter into the Holiday Season with stores clamoring for our attention with great deals for gifts and the attendant pressure to buy the perfect gift for that special someone to remember that the "simple gifts" are  the best ones of all.

So, what are some great simple gifts?  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

- Volunteer at an animal shelter.  Shelter animals need love and attention -- and many times a person to help them regain their trust in humans.

- Teach others a special talent or skill you have (e.g. woodworking, crafts, amateur radio).  Sharing your time and passion inspires passion in others.

- Tutor a student.  You can change their academic future.

- Clean out your closet. Take those unworn clothes and unused toys and give them to your favorite charity's thrift shop or to a local women's shelter. It will make a world of different to those in need.

- Take meals to those that cannot leave their homes.  It will make a bright spot in your day and in theirs.

 Let's start the "Simple Gifts" movement. Add to the list and pass it on!

 

River -- one of the many special things I am thankful for.