Welcoming Curiosity

A new horse came to our barn this week and I had the opportunity to be there as he was unloaded from the trailer and acquainted with his new home.  It is always fascinating to see the reactions of all the horses when presented with a new member of the barn equine family.  Every horse was watching this new horse -- all of them standing at attention with ears forward, sniffing the air, and calling out to the new horse.  Many of the horses were moving around try to get a better view of the new addition -- which wasn't hard to do as he is a big horse!  All the horses were openly curious and welcoming. There were no preconceived notions, just excitement and a willingness to meet this new horse.  (Of course, how the new horse would fit in the horse hierarchy when introduced into a pasture would be a whole separate blog entry!)

This got me to thinking about how curious we as humans when we are dealing with people,  especially when we are dealing with people we think we already know.  Are we eager and curious?  We often come into a situation with preconceived notations, which tend to dampen our curiosity.  I had the opportunity to work with an excellent Executive Coach (shout out to you, David Brown!)  and one thing he always told me especially when dealing with difficult situations with people was to be curious.  And he was so right!  Curiosity leaves us open to making remarkable discoveries and resolving conflicts.  By stepping away from our preconceived notions about a situation, being curious allows us move beyond obstacles.  It is a critical tool for a Leader.  So, my goal today is to be more like those horses meeting the new herd addition -- open and curious.  What about you?

Servant Leadership

Due to a crazy work and home schedule, I haven't been able to ride River over the past week or so, but I am looking forward to spending time with her over this Memorial Day Weekend.  In addition to riding, I have a list of "must do" chores to support River, including cleaning River's grooming equipment, cleaning River's tack,  and airing out and putting away her horse blankets (the hot season has begun in Florida -- don't need them now!).  This is in addition to the regular horse chores.  It takes a lot to maintain a horse -- including a lot of physical work.  Sometimes I feel like a servant -- the work can be un-ending, but to ensure a healthy and happy horse my work is definitely worth its weight in gold.

Such it is with Servant Leadership.  A leader needs to genuinely care about their employees and their welfare.  This requires a lot of work to ensure that the physical, material, and emotional needs of employees are met so that they can excel in their careers.  The fruits of a Servant Leader's labors are bountiful, including:   rich relationships which energize the Leader and the Employee alike; and engagement and willingness to go the extra mile by the Employee because their Leader genuinely cares about them and their success.  So, how you can you apply the principles of Servant Leadership in your life?

Don't Shoot the Messenger...

The barn where I board my horse is a very family-oriented atmosphere and people develop close friendships.  Sometimes though, those friendships can become strained and it boils down to communication.  As humans, we tend to shy away from confrontation and unpleasantness.  When it comes to having to relay something to someone that is uncomfortable, people may sometimes try to buffer that "bad news" by telling un-truths or partial truths.  It can be viewed as being kind in the immediate situation, but can often backfire when data later comes to light.  So, we need to learn to constructively and compassionately be truthful in situations.  It benefits the giver and the receiver in the long run.

Look at a horse.  A horse is always truthful (sometimes painfully so!).  If River is unhappy, she will swish her tail or put her ears back.  With a horse, you always know where you stand.  So, how can you become a better communicator when things are tough?  How can you remain compassionate and constructive when bearing uncomfortable or difficult information?  Conversely, as a receiver of this information, how can you accept the data and allow the giver the space to be truthful?  All easy in theory, but very hard in practice.

Walk In My (Horse) Shoes

So, River, my "Equine Coach" has been having some hoof issues -- getting dry and cracked -- and no amount of hoof treatment was going totally fix the problem.  A horse's hooves are made of the same material that our nails are, so it's kind of like dealing with dry, cracked nails and cuticles, but on a much larger scale!  When the vet came out to do the Spring vaccinations last week, I asked him how to handle the hoof problem.  He recommended putting horse shoes on her two front feet to help with the cracking problem, to give them extra support and strength.  River, for as long as I have known her, has gone barefoot,   So, when the farrier came out this week to do the regular foot trimming (every 6 weeks -- their hooves grow out like our nails and without regular trimming it can give them severe problems), he evaluated her feet and River now has new shoes on her front feet.  While she seems to be used to them now, River was walking funny after she got her shoes. 

Makes me think of the saying, "To know a person is to walk a mile in their shoes."  Everyone brings a unique perspective based upon their life experiences -- and often we can't understand a person's perspective until we understand some about what factors shaped their views.  Have you often had a person grumble at you and you wondered what you did to deserve the response, but later find out that it had nothing to do with you at all?  The person had a bad day or was dealing with a hard personal situation?  We tend to internalize responses to us as relating to us, but often times it has nothing to do with us at all.  River's new shoes are a reminder to me to try to look at situations from the other person's perspective, to at least walk a few steps, if not a mile, in their shoes.

Mom the Leader

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's, whether a Mother or one who has been a Mother-like figure to someone!  Our Mom's are the first to teach us leadership skills.  My Mom was a woman ahead of her time -- a college graduate and career woman in the 1950's, she instilled in her daughters a sense of independence and confidence that has carried us through the good times and not-so-good times throughout our lives.  She knew her daughters could do anything they put their mind to! My Mom is in her 80's now and still very independent.  I love you, Mom!

I have also been blessed by other wonderful women who have been like second Mom's to me and guided me.  I salute them today as well.

In the equine world, the true herd leader is the matriarch of the herd -- a wise, older mare, who ensures the herd has access to adequate food and water.  Who has been a matriarchal leader who has positively impacted your life?

It Won't Hurt a Bit....

The vet came to our barn today to give the horses their Spring shots and to do some other assorted check-ups of leg boo-boos and other minor items.  I had the opportunity to help out with all twelve horses, including River, and watch the vet at work.  It is always interesting observing each horse and their reaction to the vet, and it is always a fantastic learning experience with our vet as he graciously shares his expertise.  I always leave the barn feeling so much smarter about my horse and about horse health after spending time with our vet!

Watching the vet is watching leadership in action.  He is able to read each horse and change his style of engaging with each horse based upon the horse's reactions and needs.  He is able to observe a myriad of details about a horse's physical condition based upon "book knowledge"  as well as "experiential knowledge" and develop a recommended course of action.  In the midst of all this, he appears to do it effortlessly, maintaining and aura of confidence and composure.

Just as with horses, leadership in the human arena involves adjusting leadership styles based upon each person's reactions and needs, and evaluating personnel and situations based upon a combination of formal and experiential knowledge.  The leaders that most resonate with us are those that appear to do this effortlessly and through their confidence and composure make us want to follow them.  

So, who has exemplified leadership for you today?

The Fine Art of Listening

River and I had a great lesson yesterday.  The weather has been so unusually rainy for Spring in Florida (we're talking tropical storm-type rain), that we hadn't had a chance to do any riding for a week, but yesterday was a beautiful cool, sunny day.  We both enjoyed the chance to be out and about. 

Now, to continue with my story, I need to give you a little terminology lesson.  The horse has a piece of equipment called a bridle that is fitted on the head that is used to guide the horse.  The bridle consists of a headpiece, bit, and reins.  The bit, which is usually made of metal,  rests on the bars of the horse's mouth, an area which has no teeth.  The goal is to find a bit that is not hard on the horse's mouth and fits well.  My horse loves her snaffle bit and likes to hold it in her mouth even after I have taken the bridle off!

My instructor had me working on getting River "on the bit" at a trot.  "On the bit" means that the horse is accepting the bit, lowering her head and raising her back -- the first steps in the ultimate dressage goal of "collection".  River has a tendency to raise her head high at the trot and hollow her back.   We were trotting in a circle and River was looking beautiful -- until she hit one spot in the circle, where she popped her head up and tried to stop.  Each time we rounded the circle, she did it at the same spot, showing her displeasure by putting her ears back.  Part of the issue was her strong preference not to do the work -- but a major part of the issue was that I was not releasing the pressure on her mouth when she got on the bit.  In other words, I was talking (asking her to get on the bit), but not listening to her (releasing when she did what I asked her).  As soon as my instructor pointed out my communication error, River was much more cooperative, and my ride was much easier!

Another prime example of the importance of listening as a key part of communication.  Have you ever been so busy trying to make your point in a conversation that you focus too much on your message and not listen to the message being given TO you?  Sometimes the answer is there, if you just stop to listen.

Sometimes You Gotta Follow in Order to Learn to Lead

I have talked about being a leader in horse society, but you can't lead a horse until you understand how to think like a horse -- "Yes. Be One with the Horse, Grasshopper" : )      Us humans tend to attach human attributes to animals, also known as anthropomorphizing.    Unfortunately, not learning to think like a horse tends cause a lot of misunderstandings between human and horse, and a lot of frustration on both sides as well!  So, we need to learn to think like a horse so we can really communicate with out equine friends.  And to learn how to think like a horse, we need to spend time studying, observing, and listening to horses -- following them and putting ourselves figuratively "in their hooves".  And once we learn their "language", we need to remember that in addition to "talking", we need to be "listening" as well  -- that is truly what communication is.

In much the same way, to be effective leaders of people, we need to be good communicators.  We need to observe how others communicate and "follow" to adjust our communication style to ensure that others understand us.   And that means actually listening in addition to speaking. So, what are you doing to be a better communicator?