Saturday, January 18, 2014

Horses Just Know...

Events this week really reinforced for me the whole idea of the circle of life.  My Step-Dad passed away after an illness and my son is celebrating his birthday.  Both events have caused me to pause and reflect and to cry both tears of grief and of joy.  Life is precious and life is hard.  The high points of life are all the more sweet after we have prevailed over the low points.

A few years ago, my Mother-In-Law passed away.  I went out to the barn to decompress.  No one else was there and I had the opportunity to just walk and spend time with the horses and nature.  I particularly remember walking up to Marquis, a horse at the barn who wasn't the most demonstrative soul -- but Marquis knew that I was grieving in my heart.  He let me hug on him and cry all over him.  He instinctively knew what I was needed at that moment. I left the barn that day with a much lighter heart.  A few days later, my Mother-In-Law's brother came out with me to the barn.  As we sat enjoying nature and watching the horses, he commented that sitting there was the most relaxed and at peace that he had been in days.  The horses and nature were a balm to his soul as well.

So, this weekend, I celebrate the birth of my son and the passing of a gentle and kind man.  I know that I will spend some time at the barn this weekend, where the horses will instinctively know what my heart needs.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Fear and Worry -- Our two biggest nemeses

In Franklin D. Roosevelt's First Inaugural Address in 1932, he uttered the oft quoted line:  "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  Truer words could not be said.  How often have we conjured up those feelings of dread, the pit of our stomach churning, about something that we envisioned happening -- but never comes to pass.  Which leads me to another quote, this one from Mark Twain:  “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

I ponder both of these quotes as River and I are going through a transition.  The good news:  River is feeling MUCH better.  The bad news:  She has lost her manners and needs to go back to charm school.  Six or months of semi-retirement can do that to you, I suppose. 

A few weeks ago, I was riding River when she spooked.  She jumped sideways and bucked.  I stayed on, but it definitely shook my confidence.  And lack of confidence doesn't translate well in being a leader to your horse.  So, I am working on getting my confidence back - and those quotes resonate in my mind.  The mind is a very powerful tool and can be your worst enemy -- conjuring scenarios in your head.  Heck, in your mind you've already fallen off the horse before you've gotten on!  Conversely, the mind can also propel you to new breakthroughs -- hence the large role of sports psychology for those that compete.

I have been through this before -- fallen off a horse and it took awhile to get my mojo back.   At that time, I didn't think I would ever be brave again -- but I got there.  And I will again.  The key is to get my head away from what negative might happen to what positive might happen.

This same things applies to any aspect of life in which we feel fear -- fear of failure, fear of public speaking, fear of (fill in the blank).  So, I am filling my head with positive thoughts -- and putting my fears behind me. 

What fears are you facing that become bigger in your mind than they are in reality?  What positive thoughts can help you overcomes those fears and make breakthroughs?  Make your mind your friend and ally. 

Here's to overcoming our two biggest nemeses!